How I Survived Depression: My Healing Journey Through Faith, Love, and Resilience
The Misunderstanding of Mental Health in Africa
In many African communities, mental health is poorly understood. Conditions like depression are often dismissed, misdiagnosed, or interpreted through cultural myths. People associate mental struggles with lunacy, ancestral spirits, or “abnormal behaviour.”
Growing up Igbo, I often heard stories of ogbanje, children believed to be under a spiritual influence because of their erratic or stubborn behaviour. But today, with modern knowledge, we know that many of these conditions can be explained medically and sometimes treated with something as basic as nutritional support, therapy, or medication.
I witnessed this firsthand.
My Niece: A Story of Misjudgement and Mercy
One of my nieces was labelled Ogbanje because of her strange and stubborn behaviours. She fought her single mother repeatedly, to the point where no relative could stay with her. After her mother passed away, everyone abandoned her, everyone except my wife and me.
Taking her in almost broke us.
She would leave the house for days, sleep outside, refuse to eat, and wander the neighbourhood like someone who had lost touch with reality. She was stealing. People begged us to send her away. Some neighbours even reported us to the police, thinking we were mistreating her. After investigating and interacting with her, the police understood our situation and advised us to release her for our own sanity. But to whom and where!
But we didn’t give up.
We gave her love, faith, discipline, guidance, nutritional supplements, counselling, and the word of God. It was not easy, sometimes it felt impossible, but slowly, she began to change. Today, she is fully recovered, useful to herself and to the family. We set her up in a trade, and she is doing well. Every time I see her now, I am reminded that love, patience, and understanding can turn any story around.
My Own Battle With Depression
My own journey lasted about three years, three long years of emotional drought and physical exhaustion. I became a shadow of myself.
I lost weight drastically.
My skin darkened and looked unhealthy.
Food no longer nourished me, my body needed more support than regular meals could give.
I lost interest in everything I once enjoyed.
My phone could stay silent for a whole month because people stopped calling.
I lost my car, my only means of income and movement at the time.
I withdrew from friends and church members, not because I wanted to, but because shame and fear had swallowed my confidence.
Anyone who has been depressed knows that rejection hits differently. Every little disappointment seems like a confirmation that you are not enough.
Yet, in that lonely place, something unexpected happened:
I discovered myself.
Silence became a teacher. Solitude became a mirror. And in that stillness, I started rebuilding, slowly… painfully… but steadily.
The Tragedy That Triggered My Depression
The root of my depression was a tragedy that shattered my world: my wife and children were involved in a ghastly motor accident. The accident claimed the life of our beloved son, Divine, a vibrant, joyful child full of life.
My wife, my children, and my brother-in-law survived but with broken bones, fractures, and deep emotional wounds. They spent over a month in the orthopaedic hospital.
Nothing prepares a parent for the death of a child. Nothing prepares a husband for the moment he sees the people he loves most fighting for their lives. It was a long walk through a valley of pain.
But I survived.
We survived.
And it was by the mercy of God.
What Helped Me Pull Through
My recovery wasn’t sudden. It came layer by layer, through things that strengthened me spiritually, emotionally, and physically.
Here were the pillars that held me:
1. God’s Word
Scripture became my oxygen. When my emotions failed, God’s promises kept me alive.
2. Love & Emotional Support
My wife and children, despite their own trauma, stood by me. This is why investing in your family emotionally and spiritually is priceless, when life hits hard, they become your greatest strength.
3. Forgiveness
I had to forgive myself, others, and even situations I could not control.
My body needed rebuilding. Supplements gave me the physical support normal food could not provide at that time.
5. Self-Love
I learned to be kind to myself, to rest, to breathe, to slow down.
6. Letting Go
Releasing unnecessary burdens gave me the mental space to heal.
7. Quietude & Meditation
Moments of silence became therapeutic. They helped me reconnect with myself and with God.
Even in my pain, I wrote books and encouraged others. Surprisingly, helping people helped me heal.
9. Prayer
Prayer was my anchor, the channel that kept me from sinking completely.
What Depression Really Feels Like
Depression is more than sadness. It is an emptiness so deep that you feel hollow inside. It can make life feel pointless and push people toward dangerous thoughts. Without support, many do not survive it.
But the painful truth is this:
Depression reveals people’s true colours.
You will see who really cares, who is merely curious, and who disappears when the storms come.
It is a brutal but necessary journey of
self-discovery.
A Word to You Reading This
Whatever you are going through, loss, heartbreak, shame, financial struggles, or the silent battles no one can see, your story is not over.
Keep your faith alive.
Hold on to hope.
Lean on God and on the few people who genuinely love you.
Healing takes time, but it is possible.
You will survive.
You will pull through.
And one day, your testimony will inspire someone else.
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